Can't Help It

and so she said to me....well, you already know what she said.


I can't help it or at least I think I can't. I suppose truth is, I don't often try.

Are you wondering what I can't help?

PONDERING

and

Letting my mind and words 'Rambler' on.

After my friend made mention of my missing out on a portion of my past due to circumstances in my life that had kept me kinda sorta chained to my home, I thought of all the times I was asked to participate in events and girls out days over the years. All the trips I wanted to take to visit my mom and the mission trips I wanted to go on.

I worked up some saddness but got nuthin'.

I worked up some joy but got nuthin'.

My conclusion is God covered me during those times. Just as in my youth when hurts were everywhere and beyond comprehension and yet, the Lord shielded me. I believe His love covered those times from what was and what could have been until the day came when I was free.

I'm not cold or choosing to ignore what has been. I just don't feel I need to remember my hurts, even though there are days when they surface. The pain is not as deep as it could be and when I do feel it in those times, I am certain that God's plan is for me to use that pain to minister to others who are hurting just the same.

For now I am going to continue to focus on what will be, on my dreams and my tomorrows to come.

and so I shall