Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Groundhog


I work with five and six year olds. Groundhog Day was coming up. Fact is, today is Groundhog Day...so, Happy Groundhog Day!

I wanted them to know what is was all about, perhaps expanding their world just as I am expanding mine. Although in a different sort of way, I am very aware of Groundhog Day. Hey! I watched the Bill Murray movie, I understand the whole deal surrounding Groundhog Day....giggle

...and so it was, I read them a story at their level on the groundhog. I gave them handouts to work on. I even had them make a groundhog puppet. At the end of our time together, I asked them once again to tell me what Groundhog Day was all about. They looked at me like deer in headlights and without mouthing a word I heard a chorus of 'whaaat'?

That is kinda sorta how it was for me the other morning. I shared with someone how I was feeling as I try to work through demands I have placed on myself. They gave advice. They offered suggestions. I adore the person who was having the conversation with me and appreciated all they had to offer and their time. However, the dreaded question came...'Does that make sense'?

They said it with a smile and I feel they were thinking...'ok, problem solved, case closed, now move on'.

I had to respond. It is the appropriate thing to do but my response was not going to be the one they wanted to hear or see. I don't think they saw the same look I saw on the childrens faces but I knew inside I kinda sorta had a deer in the headlight look on my face. I was mouthing 'whaaat' but didn't want to say it out loud.

Thing is, I do make lists of what needs to be done or at least what I think needs to be done to keep my life as organized as possible, making sure I meet expectations. When some people on my list keep making changes is when I run into trouble in my world. The funny thing about the whole conversation is the very person I was talking with was one of the ones who I feel, keeps changing my list.

Serenity will come. I will find a way to relieve some of the pressure I put on myself. I will work through my need for perfection and needing to please as I stated,they are my worst enemy. I will vision what I feel an ordinary day is where I can feel more carefree and keep that dream close to my heart. If I do, my desire is that it will become reality.

Part three tomorrow


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