Saturday

I began writing this yesterday, Saturday. It doesn't seem to matter much schedule wise, what day of the week it is since I began my new second summer job. I am working week days and weekends. In my regular job at the school, I know for certain weekends begin on a
Saturday. I doubt it will ever fall into an order that will allow my brain to decipher where my weekend begins and ends now.

I spent 8 days recently in sunny California. I left a rainy Washington but happily returned to a rather sunny Washington. I feel certain the Pacific Northwest Washingtonians are as pleased as I am about the sun. I can't truthfully take credit for bringing the sunshine back with me, although it has been suggested. :)

Saturday was stressful. Funny, I thought the stress was a done deal. The grief yesterday morning brought my way is going to be on tomorrows blog.

So - you ask - why are you posting blogs out of order? Cause I can if I wanna

I began writing this at 8:30 p.m. from the back porch of the duplex I live in. It was the first day in the 7 months I have lived here that I was able to experience night life in Grand Mound from the porch - our winter stayed long past the announcement of Spring and Summer arrival. oh bother!

I thought it would be nice to get acquainted with the trees, birds and blades of grass. The lawn - blades of grass that seem to fight for rank in height. Why else would some be super long while others conform to the shorter status and grow at the same rate as hair on my head does? It messes with my organized brain making me want to get the kitchen scissors and start trimming rebellious blades but I refrained from doing that.

While I was away, two roses bloomed in the garden out front. The back porch holds an abundance of planters with assorted flowers. One is a clipping from a strawberry plant I got from my old house. It produced two strawberries which the neighborhood raccoon found tasty. He didn't leave a thank you note so I am only guessing he found them tasty. My ivory Gerber Daisy plant has four blossoms. If they had a voice I think they would break out in a song. At least that's my thought.

My surprise cosmos that I posted a picture of on a recent blog entitled Hope, grew to a whopping 12 inches and has mini white flowers. They are lovely and make me smile.

There are more pots of flowers that adorn the back porch but I won't bore you with ALL of the details. They seem quite content to be here in the company of moi'. I am quite content to sit in my comfy Coleman camp chair with them also - at the moment.

Something is stirring in me causing me to feel unsettled.

I visited my sons yesterday after my morning class. I cut their hair and played Crazy 8's - a card game. My 18 year old son chatted awhile then retreated to his bedroom. It appeared that he was content in just knowing I was there, if only for a visit. It felt like the old days when all was well...once upon a time. I knew in my heart that my sons were near back then - somewhere in the house. It felt warm and comforting. It completed my day.

Then, as I returned home, I knew they were once again, far away. Not too far, only 40 minutes away - still in my heart, but not where I can at any given time, hug on them, chat with them or just 'be mom'.

The area here in Grand Mound is beautiful. The birds - sparrows at that moments view - are chattering to each other from the tall trees that are just beyond the other side of the back yard fence. Please don't ask what kind of trees as all I can tell you is they are tall, green trees. :)

The sparrows were very busy as they soared through the sky over a large open field that I see through the openings of the fence. They swoop down then up again to land on a tree branch, chattering all the while. I wonder if they are playing a game or discussing who is going to sleep where that night. Do you suppose birds have discussions about such things?

My finances have been lacking since I moved out. Now, I feel certain that will change for the better with the addition of my second job.

That causes rest in my mental list of worries and burdens.

The summer season has made its way to my neck of the 100 acre woods which allows me to feel joy. So, I check that off my list of concerns.

Papers that needed to be filed are just that - filled out and officially filed. Another check mark finds its place on my list of worries.

Yesterday I kinda sorta fell apart and still last night, could not regain peace inside. I wonder if I can locate Yoda, the Jedi Master in the yellow pages....hmmmm could he be of help to me

I thought I was in control. After I began my morning having a great hair day. I knew where the class was that I had to attend.

Situations, circumstances, memories and too much thinking got in the way of an ordinary day. How do I allow that to occur? Why can't I be normal and in conyrol like everyone else appears to be?

I knew I would be laying my head on a pillow in a couple of hours. In the meantime, I sipped hot coffee and enjoyed the summer evening fragrance of fresh mowed lawns. Stars would fill the sky soon and twinkle as they dance through the night. I will make a wish or two then say my good nights to each one...well, at least the ones I can see. Maybe resting and then waking to a new sunrise will help my soul find whatever I seem to be lacking.

Christopher Robin always seems to have solutions to problems. Perhaps the white pages....?

:)

Part Two:

I never did have to search the yellow pages or white pages for Jedi Masters or Christopher Robins phone number. The solution found me. It was simple...I went to bed early and found there, everything I needed to fill the unsettledness. There I found what I was lacking...even though I did not have the sense to find it on my own.

Isn't that just how some days go?

Blessings