Kinda Sorta

I get kinda sorta annoyed sometimes at myself. At times I do so well, and find an escape from existing in survivor mode. Living with all that feels atrocious and those countless disappointments here and there, by being in the presence of a dear friend, feeling refuge from the storms in life, being in a place where troubled sleep vanishes, and yet, the pain and tears return to haunt me this morning, as if we had never parted company at all.

...and so it was, I sat on the porch and began counting pine cones that hung from the low lying tree branches, hoping that with each count - in a minute or two - the distraction will help my mind return to that peace and calmness I felt - only a minute ago.