There it goes again

that familiar feeling of breathing in the shock of chaos and confusion in my life. However, I continue my morning commute to work along the city streets, freeway then the long stretch of highway. I enjoy the freeway drive in anticipation. It bares something I look forward to most mornings. My car travels up the on ramp and as I merge into traffic, my eyes scan upward toward the horizon that is traced by city lights, tall trees and a few colorful buildings.

Yet, not one vehicle do I recognize. You would think that after all these months of traveling from here to there at the same time each morning, I would meet up with other travelers that head in the same direction as I. Sometimes this small world is not so small (or friendly). It doesn't much matter though. I have found my own joy in selecting sights such as the horizon to keep me company. On the highway, only minutes from work, I pass the road that leads to where my sons are. Some mornings I take that road and drop off a fresh baked batch of cookies or bread for them to munch on during the day until I stop by for a visit after work. I wonder when I do, if that leaves with them a piece of me, of my love, to remind them that I am thinking of them.

As I turn into the parking lot of the school, I glance up at the windows of my classroom. A decorated wooden sign sits in the window that says welcome and I do - feel welcome there. I adore working with the children. Their faces and funny conversations they share with me of how they spent their afternoons fills me with delight as I know only half of what they tell me is truth. No matter what age, imagination is a wonderful thing to possess. I ponder on the accomplishments of the work week, when moments come and I am given the blessing of finding a key that helps me unlock their learning ability. The joy that fills their eyes of finding understanding is sealed in my heart.

At my home at the end of that day, I sat on the couch and peeked out the window from the opening in the curtains. I listened for the rooster again. I miss the announcements of his presence. I have noticed that even the stars rarely shine at night lately. The sky is too crowded with clouds.

Then, this morning I woke up early to get some chores done before heading to work. I sat on the couch, not before pouring myself a cup of coffee, and began clicking away on the computer. That is when I heard it, the rooster singing or coughing or at least - speaking in some language...giggle. He must have been in hiding or maybe he won a prize and had taken a vacation to Hawaii. After all, he might miss the warmth of sunshine like I do.

The sound he made caused me to smile. It was a reminder to me that there is hope abounding. Hope that summer will soon be here. Hope that the stars will find an open sky to dance and sparkle in at night to entertain me. Hope that soon this season that I am walking through, will pass and complete joy will enter my life once again.