Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Two Worlds

I live in two worlds. One where I cope. One where I don't cope as well.

When I am in a more normal world, when I am dealing with life as it comes, I am content. Even the glitches in life are no worries to me.

When I'm not coping, when I'm thrown a curve that feels earth shaking size, I enter a place - a world - where I find I am no longer actually living. I am merely exsisting and moving, driving or walking from place to place, as if aimlessly, without fully being aware of what I am doing.

No, I'm not on drugs - although there may be a drug out there to aid me in those times.

Don't like it
Don't like it
I don't really like it
I'm scared
I'm sad
And I've known nicer days

Wish I could find a cure. Those words I made up with a tune that I sing to myself over and over again when I enter the non coping rehlm.

I have many freinds but none that know about that part of my life. I don't share the sad times in my life, I prefer to spend the time I have with friends chatting about the joys and blessings in life and keep the burdens to myself. So, I can't call one of them to help them through.

Hmmmm
what to do
what to do

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