Hopes and Peace

Where have the hope and peace gone?

Where are the missing parts to my kinda sorta life puzzle hiding. I need them to feel complete.

At the moment I feel anything but complete. Do you suppose a person never feels complete? Is there a place in life where we are settled and content then feel complete?

I am unsure about that and a lot of things these days.

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By the way, Roberta, yes I am a paraeductor in elementary in a tiny 100 acre woods. I clicked the wrong button and deleted your comment rather than publishing it. Can you relate?? :)

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The sun doesn't appear much any more. Maybe it is the season.

I've lost sight of what love is all about.

I feel like being quiet for no reason at all. Could it be that I talk in silence? At least it seems that way to me - like no one is listening to me. Maybe I have lost my words or don't say the right ones. For what ever the reason, lately it seems my words vanish leaving me to feel that they hold no value to anyone other than myself.

Laughter has turned to crying. Tears are on the edge of bursting forth each time I open my mouth to speak my mind. I have to work double hard to keep composure.

The future, well, it is unclear. I can't make any sense of events or some of my relationships.

Season are made for change. This stormy season is sticking around too long and that changes are overwhelming - more than I can bare.

I feel...

older

unable to care about anything

even the moon and stars could twinkle and glow brightly in the night sky without my noticing. Why - because I don't want to view the night sky for fear the moon and stars have refused to shine for me and have forgotten my name.

I feel...

alone

Here I go -

another day has made its presence known to me.

Here I go -

wrestling with questions that refuse an answer.

I begin my day on a path I take, unable to see what's in front of me. I lack understanding to deal with the day and where to turn on this path that seems laid out for me.

Lord Jesus, my strength is gone. Send Your perfect love for me. Make me whole. Rescue me from the storm that rages in me and around me.