Attack

Have you ever been physically or emotionally attacked or abused in some way?

I have - both.

Sad thing to me is, I know there are a lot of you out there with the same stories. Some of you are brave or more open than I and are able to tell someone which is the healthiest thing to do.

Others, like me, hold it in, feeling we must of been to blame or perhaps somehow deserving of what came or comes our way.

Which are you?

What I've been experiencing lately is unsettling to me. Due to events in my past, in certain situations with particular people, something they say or do triggers memories and hidden emotions begin to well up.

You too?

I freeze - kind of a 'stuck' moment. I endeavor to fight back my fears. All that happens within me and exactly why it still happens is unfamiliar territory to me. Alarm, anxiety, consternation, trembling, panic are some of the sensations. All the while trying my best to keep a composed outward appearance makes for some not so entertaining dancing on my part.

Because I am a private person I don't share with others, and learned you can't always trust people who claim to be your friend to keep things confidential. Might have been a feeling of helping me but what friends who I shared with in the past ended up doing, caused my trust in people to vanish.

That is why I write for the most part. It is one of the healthiest things I know to do in order for me to move on from one day to the next.

How about you? What are your methods of working through life?