Wishing

Wish I could like the night time. Sunsets are alluring as it coats the day with their colors. I wish I had more time in my days to stop and enjoy the view.

You'd think I'd like night time as I know that means there is little of the day left to endure and my tomorrow is almost here. Surely then Lord, tomorrow will be better than today... is what I ponder as I snuggle my head into the pillow at night.

Maybe I will like the night someday. For now, night means a time I long for but dread as I creep into bed, laying there in silence, trying not to stir and hoping if I close my eyes, sleep will come. I wake several times, slowly turning my head to view the clock and even when I find only an hour has past, I try not to be discouraged.

I don't like camping either but perhaps, just perhaps, I will meet someone, someday, that will show me the grandeur of camping - in a tent of all things - and the night.

But then, there is the dawn, when the morning paints the sky anew. It ALMOST makes the night worth going through.

....and if I gave them colors. Them - being night, camping and morning - I would.

Night has the perfect color already. Black, which is really no color at all - merely nothingness.

Camping would be orange which is of course, the colors of my parents camping sweatshirts.

Morning, oh the dawn must be shades of purple, my favorite color.

Did I ever tell you that my father drove me from Oxnard to San Diego in search of lavender shoes for a school dance? I have a handful of fine memories of my dad and that was one. It was an odd and random thing for him to do. He had a hard time being happy, friendly or showing love.

Is it possible to miss someone but not miss them? Is it possible to love someone but not like them?