Then I rambled along the highways and byways of life
I discovered as I listened and participated here and there
Far more knowledge than I ever thought possible, at easy access
All the while safety and security held me
One day, the Earth shook beneath my feet
The skies darkened, the weather was turning
No where to turn to
I became frightened and unsure of my steps, my place, my words
I am tired of having to continually change
The feeling that I have to mold and shape who I am when I haven't even figured that part of life out yet
I have been told to be brave, be more bold
All seemingly good advice but brave and bold come with tack in my book and the one giving me that advice does not use tack, finding my version not to their liking
The one telling me to not worry, be happy and smile more, worries, gets unhappy in moments and does not smile all the time
So what I am left with is expectations to be who they are
I woke up angry
Which is rare, there are less than a handful of times in my life when I have been filled with that emotion
Maybe it's a good thing, for I find myself filled with strength and determination to be who I want to be, who I am deep down inside
I will not turn from my friends but have decided that I must do more discovery of this new world, this new life, through my own experiences
Safety and security - I am going to find that source from within
I think I will be more sure of the continued source that way for I know, if nothing else at all, that I can always count on me caring about my well being
...and so one of my friends asked me what they could do for me
I had an answer but opted for the generic, "Nope, nothing, I am fine." When really I wanted to say, "Understand and accept me."
No comments:
Post a Comment