WHOOO

Yesterday I got up feeling in a funk. I ate macaroni and cheese before going to bed and slept in too long. I walked down the hall to the bathroom which was really quite a task while carrying all that baggage I was holding on to. I felt my way in the semi dark of the early morning hour by running my hand along the wall, feeling for the edge, knowing I could then maneuver myself around the corner to the bathroom. That is unless I lost my bearings in which case I would find myself running into the wash machine! Not a good thing when the bathroom is my goal destination.


I soaked my face with warm water. It didn't help. It didn't help at all viewing in the mirror either. I wondered who that old woman with bags under her eyes could possible be and why was she following me, after all, a bathroom should be a private place and this morning I wanted to be left alone. I attempted to rid the skin on my face of the bags by using cold water. It didn't help either so I gave up and turned the light out which helped considerably.



I headed to the kitchen to make coffee...out of creamer. ugh I then made my way to where I store my paperwork on the top shelf of the closet in my bedroom. I have not settled into this new place even though I have been here almost 9 months. Have to make some changes so I am no longer feeling like I am living out of boxes. I searched for a booklet I needed to remedy an issue I was having with my cell phone. The papers were stuffed in so tightly I could barely fit my fat old lady fingers in between them to pull one or two out. I huffed and puffed to make sure the papers knew my displeasure with the way they had allowed themselves to become so tightly bound, causing me to struggle. I took all of them down and sorted them before placing all of them in my brief case bag to sort out later in the day. I'll show - them I thought to myself.

Now that I had wasted all of that time and still had not found the booklet I needed, I poured myself a fake cup of coffee (fake because it had no cream and what is coffee without creamer?) and went to get on the computer. I sat on the couch in the living room with my lap top on my lap where lap tops were designed to be....right? The window was open to bring in the morning breeze, sounds and fragrances. Instead I get a 'whoooo' noise from some obnoxious bird in the tree across the road. U... U... Usually, I embrace the bird morning songs but not this morning. I knew it was not an owl but could not figure out what kind of bird it was and why oh why was it pestering me on this morning when surely the bird knew that the last thing I needed on this particular morning was something out of the ordinary to deal with. Didn't I have enough to work through???



I looked down at my cell phone while waiting for the computer to boot up, and saw I had 8 messages all from the night before. I knew I had to respond but didn't feel in the mood. The computer was not co-operating with me and I ended up losing the post I was working on. I could not open my email, I was hot ... must be my age, I felt old and of no value to this world, I miss my sons, I miss having lunch with my friends, I miss road trips and going to the movies. I want to buy new shoes. I want to buy a new blouse or two. I want tomorrow to be here today.


Yesterday, I ended up losing the post and unable time wise to get back on the computer and respond to emails, I shut the computer down and walked away which seemed the safest thing to do for the computers sake. I talked through some of my feelings with a friend but kinda sorta didn't mention everything that is bothering me and was on my mind. Somethings I just can't talk about some stuff. I got called in to work early which was of help. When I am at work I focus on nothing but getting the job done giving my brain a break.

Must of helped going to work...

I woke up this morning feeling better. I googled the bird noise I head yesterday. Turns out it is a Band Tailed Pigeon that live in the Pacific Northwest and are known for making an owl like sound. I don't hear it this morning. I even have the door open. I suppose it might be that I hurt its feelings or maybe it found a home to entertain where the old lady of the house is more chipper in the mornings than I was yesterday.



The donkey next door is pleased that I am up. I can hear him saying hello and feel certain he moves his head up and down when he brays. I can't see him through the trees where he resides on the other side but imagine it to be so all the same. I have a day off. There is a cool breeze blowing on my legs as I sit here with my lap top typing away. It feels soothing. I can hear the dryer going down the hall making me feel good that I am half way done with laundry and it isn't even 7 a.m. yet.



Yesterday, I did a lot of sighing because of my funk. I did not exactly know the reason why I felt that way but being the analyzer that I am, I made mental lists of why. This morning is a new day. I am doing a lot of sighing again but at the thoughts of having a day off, a lunch date with one of my sons and a picnic in my back yard on the lawn perhaps with several ants that have set up house on the back porch, the truck sounds from the road, the aroma of fresh mowed lawn and warmth of a summer day.



The neighbors cat just made her way into my house via the open door. I guess she saw it as an invitation. I think I will go pet her, if she will let me, and chat with her about my determination to have a better day today. I figure I can't wait for a good day to just happen so I am just going to have to do it all by myself...well, me and kitty cat for starters.