Kinda Sorta Different

I know I am different...kinda sorta.

I know each of my 5 children are different from the other...why, I don't know. I raised them all the same. Even still, with me growing up with 4 siblings, am I so different from each of them, being raised by the same mother and daddy.

One of my children calls me ma.
One calls me mama.
One calls me mom.
One calls me old lady...giggle
One calls me ... well...all he ever says is 'hey' so I guess that is what he calls me.

Even in the way they view me, the word they use for me is different.

I remember when each of my children were babies - fresh...isn't that funny, but they were just that ... fresh. Tiny infants, laying in the crib, sleeping their first few days of life away. I sang to them while they slept, one at a time of course, I didn't give birth to them all at the same time! With each one I had a different song. Don't know why but at the time, as I stood there leaning on the edge of the crib, embracing the moment, taking in the scent of the wonderful fragrance that only a newborn holds, I was inspired by certain songs. Blessing or not, each time they slept for their first few days of life, they got my voice in song while they slept. Perhaps the love I was feeling overrides my voice so they were able to continue to sleep peacefully while I squawked out in song.

Ok, so now you know once again how much I adore my children. That is not what I came to the computer to type out to you today though.

Differences. Puzzling to me. Most of the rose bushes in my flower garden have given up their blooms and yet one yellow rose holds on. They all drank the same sunshine and rain and yet one is different in that it endured far longer than the rest. That caused me to smile. That compelled me to reflect on people, myself and life.

At home I feel different, like I don't fit in. Being the only female in the home besides Pretty Kitty, I suppose might be why. At work I feel I don't fit in. I have to work at being comfortable with conversations taking place around me and work through words and thoughts to say in order to join in.

Even with one of my bestest friends, I still feel different when I am with them. Even though we have much in common which to me, is amazing, I still struggle with wonderings of why. Why am I so different. Why can't I feel like I fit in except when I am alone.

Even through the differences, while I travel in this current stream of life, I will do what I can to make the best of it, to embrace each day and each moment as it passes my way.