The Whispers

I'm sitting in a car in a parking lot. I left home 30 minutes early for work today. Why - because I needed to find peace and quiet before I begin my day. It is becoming more difficult to find calmness these days.

This moment, sitting here, kinda sorta with no real purpose, reminded me of a letter I got from one of my sisters not too long ago -

Dear Nancy,

I am sitting in my car in the carport. I needed a break from the chaos and the questions. Mom thinks I am cleaning my car. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Love,
Sis

Why are people in the positions they are in?

My fault

I'm a people pleaser only I forget I am a people also. I've placed others above myself until I am so down I can't see the sky. For most of my life, even in childhood, I discovered if I make certain those around me are taken care of, are pleased, then I survive.

I wondered how it is that one of my sisters now sits in the same position as I am, surviving...

But that is changing some for me.
I have been slowly taking a stand.
I have been slowly finding my voice again.

And, I know God hears my voice. You know how I know? I will tell you about my ride into work, or actually, my ride into town to sit in the parking lot.

On the way to work this morning, I put the cruise control on 54 instead of my normal 58 - I am in no rush.

Dead up ahead on the horizon, are mountains. The sky is filled with clouds. Straight ahead of me, hovering above the mountain top is a cloud formation in the shape of a rainbow. No kidding! I kept it in view.

As I rounded the bend in the highway, I glanced in the direction of where the cloud formation would now be. It was gone. The whisper I received from God that morning was there in the rainbow cloud. It was a moment I needed and a whisper I needed to listen to - and then it was gone. It was an inspiration to go on, to know my prayers are heard, to have courage to make it through one more day. To know I am cared for.

I realized I need to keep watching and listening for the sweet whispers from God. I smiled and felt assured that I am not as alone as I sometimes feel.