Outside it's wet and misty gray.
Birds fly swift, then come to rest.
They seem to know which tree is best.

So why it it I sit here and wonder,
Where it is I wish to be.

In country wide with pine tree air.
City streets where taxis prowl.
Yonder mountains wooded high.
The beach, the surf, the waves that crash.

No, it is not one of these.
For where it is I wish to be,
Is in the morning,
Wherever that may be.

Greeting dawn despite,
what has been and what will be.
Seeking treasure, feeling free.

Lord what masterpiece, on this morn,
will You form me to be?

~N

Girlfriends

This one on girlfriends is for you Patty...my dear friend!




~N

Enjoy!

Old Books

You know why I like old used books?
Sometimes I find people have written short notes worth mentioning of a selection in the margin. A memory.
Some pages are worn on the edges from age.
When I hold an old used book, I do it with more care and can enjoy it while cozying up in that overstuffed chair.
From time to time I lift my eyes from the pages to view the sky through the window nearby and find that I can reach the stars that seemed so far away, I can fly a fantasy, or ride the rainbow and perhaps even find I have uncovered all the secrets that lay beyond the magnificent beyond.

"My test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter. "

~Thomas Helm

I noticed as a I walked on the treadmill this morning that I could take long strides or short quick ones as I followed the beat of the music I was listening to and yet, I was all the while going at the same speed. So I accomplished nothing more by speeding up my motion than a few moments of having a sense of accomplishment as my body worked harder and most certainly keeping rhythm which was the most important thing ... right?! :)

1/2 cup empty thinking tells me ... so what then does it all matter, it's all the same.

1/2 cup full thinking tells me that on my days mission, if it makes it more enjoyable or easier to take quick steps...why not

Impression

Do you ever get the impression that the words you just said to someone were just that...words. Words floating out across the universe.

You had something important, to say, and that one person you selected to share with, might as well have had their ears covered.

hmmm

You know they care. That's why you picked them to talk to. And yet, you get nuthin. You could say grrrrrrrr but perhaps the time you are now taking to analyze yourself, what you had to say and of the whole situation are of greater importance.

You wonder... if what you had to say was of as much value as you thought it was. Was it that you needed to highlight the words or add graphics and, what if your words spoken had drama added to them? Then, would you have had the receivers attention and then, would you find what you had to say certainly not worth all that effort?

~~
I require little. Tis true. But I do require, if I must use that word, to be listened to, not just heard. And I am speaking of all my words. Please don't just pick through what I wrote or said and select the parts that you find pleasing. They all have a purpose and put together fit well but if taken apart, well then, you will miss the meaning...won't you?

Sometimes I think portions of conversations are like a view behind the clouds. You can hear someones words but to understand what they are fully saying you must take time and go a step further beyond the clouds.

Sorrow and Seeds

When the sun is barely lurking
Behind the horizon
When you find yourself on the edge
Find the place to go
Where fears don't hang around
~N






Allow sorrow to become a space where a seed can grow.
~N

Everyday there is a brand new sky. Did you know that? I suppose if you are trying to concrete think that one, as some folks do, you might say, 'but hey, if I live on the same planet and live in the same city and view the sky from the same front porch, how then could it be the sky is brand new everyday?'

Then I would respond by saying to you my dear friend, 'some things just are'.

Paper Cranes

Phuong,

You are an amazing young lady. The wisdom you have at your age is remarkable. I like the way you view the paper cranes. To keep them in a box then take them out to contemplate them....I like that. Perhaps someone will start that tradition here in the United States. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Thanks for your comment, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I hope in between school you will continue to write. The world is a more exquisite place with you and your writings in it.

Ramblings

I wish for lots of things but for now I wish for a job, a more sound mind, someone who TRULY loves ME for who I am, a year-round tan, cute toes so I can wear sandals more, cool nights and calmer days so I can sleep better, my eyes to see clear at night rather than blinded by the headlights, and a personal aircraft so when I feel a whim to see this person or that, I would not have to wait in long airport lines or drive long distances along all too crowded freeways. I would visit family more if I had my own plane....is that causing you to feel sorry for me and pull out your check book? :)

But wishes....I will save them for the clear night sky or I wonder if you wish on gigantic firework displays, the wishes become confused and granted more readily due to the entertainment value.

Tomorrow I am heading to Olympia to apply for a job here and there. I have already applied here and there locally, but the here and there further north might be hiring since the city is so much larger.



Wish me well?

Isn't it funny....

... or not, but depending on the mood we find ourselves in, is just the way we read emails or words written in letter form. Perhaps even to 'hear' what someone is saying whether the words written or spoken were meant in that way at all.

Do I hear a bit of frustration in your words? Cause I kinda sorta think I do.

To my friend Phuong

I wish you happiness and success as school begins for you. If I could, I would make and send to you 1,000 paper cranes to make a wish upon and wonder what your wish would be.


I hope you will embrace every day and all that comes your way.

Blessings,

Nancy

It's a waiting game

drivers license

birthday parties

first kiss

Christmas morning

prom

first snowfall

sunrise

sunset

Monday

Friday

days first cup of coffee

wedding day

vacation

flight

ride

traffic light

you to wake up

meeting to be over

heaven

are we there yet?

I'm Here For You

Dear children of mine, most near, some all too far away,

I love you each so dearly. I adore everything about you, all that you were, everything you are and will love all the more as I watch who you become.

It was hard to let go that first time others wanted to hold you as you lay a precious baby in my arms.

It was hard to let you go that first day of school. I suppose every school year has been the same for me, is that so hard a concept to grasp?

It was hard to let you go when you left home to begin a life on your own and only hoped the training up years had been enough.

And if I have not said it enough, I love you with all of my being. May passion be the wind that continues to lead you through your days.

Moment to Moment

Is this...I wonder,
What I truly want.
Could it be it was -
But for the moment.
As time goes by, will it be,
My wants go changed from,
Moment to Moment.

~N

All The Same

You might want to get a cup of coffee or some tea. For sure, get comfy as this is going to be a bit of a long 'short' story.

God is working everywhere and doesn't take days off. Oh, you already knew that. :)

Last week I headed out on my final destination of grand adventures for the summer. I flew. I walked. I observed. I listened. I wrote - four stories actually that first day! Hey, I was up at 2:00 a.m., what else did you expect from me and my ever wandering mind? I have learned that the Lord is more pleased with my wandering mind than if I had a wandering heart.

Most of the time I am in the midst of life which is not always pleasant...same with you? bummer It is with intentional determination that I set aside moments to let my pondering, wandering mind rest. How long those moments are or how often and day or night are details I won't bore you with.

~~

Thursday I left for California.

Friday morning, which brings you current to this first writing, finds me refreshed, up early, feeling a bit frisky and filled with revelation, joy and a peace I have not known in years.

Are you curious how that came to be....if so lets continue the journey together. Would you mind waiting here while I go pour myself a fresh cup of coffee? This one is sooo cooled off it is not worth drinking.....

Ah, much better. Thanks for waiting for me.

My journey started on the way to the airport. To be kind as possible to all parties in this too long of a story, I will simply say at one point I made this statement to the driver not too long into the wee morning hour drive, "Is there a reason you didn't attempt to go AROUND the deer rather than driving right at them?"

The response was unfavorable. I understand what the silence response meant and opted for a side window view for the rest of that journey. That is after re-adjusting my body in the seat since the slamming on the of breaks tugged the seat belt into my nicely pressed blouse and I was in a more reclined state which was not how my body was actually feeling.

~~

The Portland airport was a cinch - in the beginning. I had done the e-ticket print from home so passed right thru that process.

At the security check point the shaky nervous man in line in front of me was asked if he knew he had a knife. Of course this was done after the two security people chatted and the one popped open the knife using her one hand which was really quite impressive to me. I opted out on asking if I could try that, just once.... The man's responsed, 'yes'. Then he moved on as she placed the knife in a toy box or some other sort of container where things that don't belong on a plane go.

Now it is my turn. Security pulled out my bottle of Amway water and informed me I could not take it on the plane. Oh, I thought to myself, drinking is not allowed. I assumed they meant the wine kind of drinking and did not realize bombs can be made from bottles of water but that was ok. I have thirsted before so certainly can endure it again. :)

To be kind, I did hear there was something recently in regards to safety and bottled water on the plane and do appreciate all that the staff do in the airports for our safety.

I did smile and log that moment in my brain for future reference while I put my shoes back on, and told myself this was the fun part and is a part of what makes an adventure fun!

~~

I am sitting in the terminal that the airport staff wrote on my ticket and directed me to. The time to board came. Only the mention of folks going to Sacramento was announced.

Hmmm

I inquired at the desk. Seems my plane had boarded at a different terminal but they would gladly call over to hold the plane. :(

I'm not thinking at this point - I am just DOING.

I board the plane and try to avoid eye contact of those seated who might be wondering who I could be or my story as to why I was so late. I coulda limped on or put on my princes crown for affect but instead kept my eyes on the seating numbers until I got to the seat where I had selected of all seats... the window. Now I had to ask 2 impatient looking men to excuse me as I squeezed past them.

I tried to pretend I was calm all the while fighting back grabbing an antacid or a few locks of my hair.

The plane engine starts up - we taxi. The engine noise quiets then increases to a more powerful determined 'I think I can' sound and before you know it, we are up, up and away...on....you guessed it...a great adventure.

I wonder if this sensation my body was feeling as the plane was reaching grand heights, was the same as life's quiet exclamations.

I had selected a window seat with a view of the wing. They didn't offer a seat with a view of both wings...bummer

I'm not sure what comfort I thought I would gain from my selection or was it I felt a need for entertainment while in flight. After all, the wing does have flaps that open and close. :)

The other view I got was the same as everyone else - people - all kinds of people on board searching for a familiar face, seat number or lavatory location.

Could it be, I wondered, is everyone searching somewhere for something?

~~

I looked out the window and had a birds eye view of our world. The homes and plots of land and cities below. It was all very lovely. Maybe that is why God can love us so. He sees the bigger view of things.

I can see homes scattered here and there. Small and large bodies of water, blocks of what appears to be fertile ground ready for harvest. ...and I wondered as I often do, if the people who inhabit that area know about those areas, those blessings, those treasures that are in the middle of what seems to be nowhere yet somewhere to someone.

Will thirsts be quenched? Will hungers be fed? Will longings cease?

~~

One of my sons has Asperger's. He has difficulty working through glitches in his day. I know him. I love him. I listen and watch quietly whether he rants or stomps or slams the doors. I wait nearby knowing that any minute he will walk back thru that door in a calm manner and be able to again tell me about the glitch and explain how he plans to work thru it using words rather than those aggressive gestures.

My eyes show him love. My quiet presence brings him the comfort he needs most in those moments.

My Jesus does that for me. I call him my Jesus but He is yours too! :) I ask often to see people or situations thru His eyes. It's most helpful, revealing and truly the clearest view. I feel His presence and touch throughout my night and days. There are times I find the most serene place to be and sit with my eyes closed. I lay a hand beside me and can feel Him cup my hand. The fragrance, His fragrance, I breath in. During those moments are the most sweetest and cleansing of my day.

I know what I know
And yet
There are times of struggle
When my eyes need to see
The way He does
When my heart needs to feel
The way His does
Why don't I
Why can't I
Bright Morning Star, hear my prayer
~N

~~

The plane banks to the left and then to the right. it all seemed meaningless to me and yet I am sure there was a purpose. I had to trust the pilot....did you hear what I said?

Through the two hour fight, random people walked to and fro or stood in the aisle. I wondered what their stories were. Are they traveling for business? Is this an escape trip? Will those seeking, find what they are searching for? Will our next stop in Los Angeles be their destination or will it be just another stop along their way, as it was with me.

And as these ramblings filled my head, I think of how this flight, this trip,is so parallel to my own life journey.

We can't change whats over, what has been, but we can change which way we go as we search for answers and hopefully do find answers along the way.

~~

We land in LA. As I walked down the bridge to the terminal entrance, it was a lonely walk. I know no one will be waiting to greet me. I thought to myself that someday, surely it won't be this way. Someday I won't find myself feeling so lost and empty.

I scanned the room for an attendant and asked directions rather than view the many friendly reunions that were taking place around me.

I show her my ticket and inquired which terminal I go to for the flight to Santa Barbara.

With her thumb and index finger she forms a one inch space, smiles and says, "Oh, you are taking the little plane."

Hmmm

I didn't know they came that little.
You can learn something new every day!

~~

I stand corrected....or so I thought

I had some very insightful conversations with my mom on this trip. Among other things, it turns out she has a concern that she was controlling.

...and so she asks of me..."is she?"...

She's my mom! I can't shake my head yes. I can't do the victory dance or YES arm gesture. It just wasn't appropriate.

So I sat across from her, listening, fascinated by her revelation and curious what her plans were with her self observation and wondered - simply because I do - how this recent discovery came to be.

I continued to listen and answer her questions with questions :) rather than offer up comments. I think she needed to get it out. I think she was working in an apology in there as well for past wrongs.

Bottom line is, deep down most of us have quirks, some more destructive than other folks. I am blessed with amazing children who help me see mine and allow me to reveal theirs as we laugh our way through them. Then we can move on.

Somehow, somewhere along the road, mom got stuck. Do you know people like that?

To me it was very sad really, but I had hope as she for the first time, seemed to have reached a point, a willingness, to move forward with help.

Whew! That is great I thought. I felt we made a break through. My groovy sister who lives with her will be so pleased and relieved to hear about it when she gets home.

Mom served up dinner and then we played our daily portion of Yahtzee. Suddenly the talk changed. We had come full circle back to playing the dead end game.

~~

It was a familiar and hard place to be. Yet, the night will fall. Tomorrow will come as it usually does. Mom will be mom as she usually is. A person can only do so much to help another then it is time to step back and let it go. Do not misunderstand, I don't mean give up but I was talking to the wind at that point.

~~

What I learned on this last grand adventure of my summer is that it's all the same - people and situations - life really.

Most of us look different, dress different and eat different foods at different times but underneath it all - well you know, most of us have something to work out. Some do, some don't or won't or can't.

Mom, may or may not continue her search in her own on way and in her own time, for the answers and freedom she needs. Most of all, I learned what my big sister knew all along...

mom will be mom
life goes on
it's all the same

Me, I'm opting for change in my life, for tomorrow to be better than today. I kinda sorta have a plan. I have tasted and felt what could be and am determined to not turn back now.

~~

I had great visits with one of my sisters and sister in law. I expected nothing less.

My sister and I grew a deeper bond which I thought was way cool. It was already cool that we both adore lavender! We went shopping. We don't like to shop - well, truth is she likes to buy shoes. Why were we shopping then? Don't be silly, ma told us to. She told us to eat lunch while we were too. Guess what!? We were rebels and DIDN'T.

My sister in law continues to amaze me. Wish I could take you on a field trip to her place and show you her Christmas village. I've seen it via email pics for years but in person it is breath taking and inspiring.

We had a nice and enlightening conversation on her patio where her ever so talented and kind husband served us yummy treats and YES, he provided chocolate! Dax, their dog, entertained us.

It is still amazing to me that we got along so well. For me it is a rarity to meet someone I feel so close to. She feels like a part of me and when I had to leave for home it felt like a part of me was being left behind. Do you know what I mean? Can you relate?

The conversation we had was not one I wanted to have but I could not have been in a more pleasant setting and with a more delightful person.

~~

I'm not ready for school which starts Wednesday for me but knowing what I know now, and having more answers to life's all too complicated at times situations will make it more manageable. I want to travel to depths of life I've not experienced and yet scared of that very road that leads to who knows where...

I really don't know where all I've learned and the path I'm headed on will take me but I'm trusting Jesus will turn the darkness to dawn and fill my heart and life with peace.

I think we all need to believe that as we walk our all to similar paths in all too similar patterns, to keep in our minds that when at times, it feels the world around us is breaking down, when the voices tells us to turn around, when we feel no longer able to dream - we will find Jesus holding the broken pieces, we will hear the voice of truth, and when it comes to those dreams - don't ever doubt the vast river of dreams you will be granted.

dare to ask
dare to dream
tomorrow when you wake
you will find the old has passed away
good or bad
you will find a brand new day
filled with more blessings
and opportunities than you could have fathomed
~N

There you have my trip in California in a kinda sorta short long story. I'm not sure the number of words a short story can have until it becomes a long story. Do you?

Anyway, thanks for stopping by today.
And hey, thanks for being you

blessings

I wonder

After a long period of not seeing someone it can be gut wrenching at a reunion.




After a long period of being with someone
it can be particularly painful to say good bye.






Hello or good bye can sometimes feel the same.

Airport layover

Tomorrow I promise to post my story...cause it is a long one...of my recent trip to California.

However, tonight I am weary so I will post a tad of this and a tad of that being quick as can be since this is not my appointed time on the computer.

Lay overs at the airport can be valuable. I sat at the Sacramento Airport four hours waiting for my connecting flight.

Things I did -

Got a lot of writing done.

Met another solo female flyer headed my way. We got to chat. Interesting conversation.

Had lots of time to ponder and ponder I did.

Drank juice I bought from a food vendor which is something I rarely do!

People watched, just like the animals at the zoo do.
Which animal shall I be....
:)

Convinced and confident.
So why is it then,
You pause and question,
Time and time again?




She asked if she could invade my space
Most people don't.
I said yes.




I wonder...
Is it only me or is it also with you...
that it seems women are more respectful than men of the space the are taking up.




...and so it was the appointed time for me to leave her.
Her weary, anxious eyes watered.

...and so it was that I wondered.
Would I see her again.
Or would it be that this was the end.



Barely visible through the morning haze
I can see the tree tops
I sit back in attempt to breath normally

Changing directions now

You say to expect turbulence
You say not to fight it any longer
Tis true
There really is no good reason why I should

The world is falling apart
And no one can feel it
The world is falling apart
And no one can see it
Or hear it

~~


I love this day

So clear and warm

Why can't we play

All day under the sun

If I could fly

I would go to the moon

Sing like a bird

And sleep like the moon

Shine like the sun

And shine like the stars

I'll say hello

I'll say goodbye

Once more and again to you
And I love you so

You really know

Memory

...and so it was, I was held captive by his majestic voice as he sang Memory from Cats just for me. From where I sat, the stream of passion that flowed through him for his love of music, now flowed inside of me. I can see the music allows his spirit to run free. I was in awe. I was breathless.

Hey little girl with the pressures of the world on your shoulders
Don't say that it's over
I heard your prayers, just cast your cares
And I'll be there so don't you fear

(I like being your girl - sigh)
:)

IF

If you make a decision to step out of your comfort zone, don't travel there without someone you trust.

Don't let others take you beyond your boundaries.

By the way, thank you for respecting me.

Can I
be sad
feeling pain
even while
I hold
all the power
I need
to not be
yet
all the while
the world
keeps turning

~~

Why does something unbelievably magnificent have to end with something unbelievably dreadful

Memories

You hold onto every memory you can with theater ticket stubs, receipts, pictures and matchbooks. While I toss out, try to avoid and block the memories.
Hmmmm

~~

Could there be a Sonic Drive In commercials marathon weekend? Or would that be crazy talk?

~~

Why is it that I stay up until all hours of the night to experience the splendor with you
but you won't wake early with me to capture the precious morning bliss?

~~

If tear drops fell like rain drops...what then?

GoodLightscraps.com

Ramblings

Two, with servants hearts - can they co exist?

~~

Somedays my life feels like a jig saw puzzle with a few pieces missing.

~~

Wish I understood me.
Wish I understood you.
Wish most of all, I understood life.

~~

Where is that place I can go to when I feel afraid? A place where whether I'm alone or not, it feels safe. A place where I can let go - set free, all the things I've been keeping locked up inside.


~~

When do you know you have found the perfect life partner?
When you can dance without stepping on their feet - perhaps that is the answer

Ok Already

Yes, I agree, toilet paper SHOULD roll over the top.
Yes, purple is the finest color in the world. :)
Yes, sleep comes easiest when the bedroom window is open a few inches.

Yes, yes, yes...
...just because I agree with you on most things, and you feel I'm a woman of sound mind...the jury is still out on that one....it doesn't make all we agree on a world rule.

We agree means we see things the same.

Tis true, I side with you in many areas.
psst...come closer...Tis true also there are areas I don't agree with you on.

I know, I know, you are surprised and probably sad and confused. You probably also feel you can persuade me to your view if given time. Please don't take that to the bank just yet! :)

What I want you to understand is, you and I have opinions. That's what they are, opinions just like everyone else has.

I embrace and enjoy our differences.
Hope you can be at peace with that idea.
I love you

A Little Sad

I do enjoy the fact that from the computer desk I can see my fish pond. The sound from the water fountain is wonderful and the cool noises the fish make when they pop up to grab a tasty bug is a very groovy noise. BTW -I only assume they are tasty.

I apologize if you thought when you saw the title of this post, you were going to hear who broke my heart. I will save that for a Starbucks conversation. I will buy, if you provide the tissue boxes. :)

Ready for the sad part? There is a lot of wildlife in our world that many of us don't take the time to notice, but I do.

It's a blessing and a curse ~~ giggle

Not only do the honey bees like being my neighbor but there are a variety of birds that are thirsty and partake of the pond water. Along the waters edge are river rocks. Most birds hop from one to the next trying to find the safest way to get a drink without slipping in. I understand! I have the same issue when I go out each day to clean the filter on the fountain. I don't hop but I do take careful steps as I reach down for the fountain in hopes I don't entertain anyone by slipping in.

But as I watch them I see some are wise. They stand on the bark and must analyze the best way to gain access to the water. At least I assume that is what they are doing because suddenly they go for it, they hop, hop, hop, sip, sip, sip and off they fly.

While others hop, hop, hop along the rocks until they give up and fly away. Where is the team work in all of that. Isn't there a bird code of ethics that states team work is the way to go rather than every bird for themselves?

I must admit that I have heard a splash or two this morning. I am not sure if it was intentional or not on part of the unfortunate birds. I am opting out of viewing so they don't get embarrassed. giggle

What wonders did you view on this awe inspiring morning?

Brian Regan - funny funny man!

I don't know

I don't know what I expect.

That is to say each morning when I begin to awaken,
those moments before I open my eyes,
where I am filled with anticipation.

The scent in the air,
the breeze that most times flows through the open window
lets me know more of the day to expect.

Will it be rain or will the sun break through the clouds
on this day and once again,
I can be touched by it's warmth
before another season arrives.

I am hungry for the day,
I keep my eyes closed
and in my mind I see myself
reaching for a moment,
a touch,
that will take my breath away
and I wonder - will it be.

Afraid to open my eyes,
I don't know what to expect
and perhaps
my expectations are too high
but I still wonder,
will this be the day.

Will I find ever after
in this moment,
happily or not.

So I lay there still,
breathing, hoping and waiting,
in that,
I don't know what to expect.

~N

I found it interesting...

One in my life dictates
The other communicates

Please direct me to the nearest exit

I'm Intrigued

There is a motorcycle in my driveway. Don't know what kind. It's black, does that count?

The owner car pools and leaves his bike at the end of my driveway until his return from work. It isn't in the way. I never even noticed it much until recently then I started standing in the window and taking a better view of this piece of machinery. hmmm

Maybe it's the flames on the helmet that he leaves nestled and secured on the seat - could it be an invitation.

Maybe it's the black leather jacket he wears or his extra dark sunglasses - I wonder if the leather is soft.

Maybe it's the adventure of open road that comes naturally to my mind, when I see the bike.

I'm intrigued...


...not by the man who rides the bike but the idea the bike represents. Does that make sense? And if one day I find a for sale sign on the bike, or he be foolish enough to leave the keys... would I even consider.......... nah... not sensible minded me.

varoom varoom!

Is it possible

Is it possible that I misunderstood.

Is it possible that I was motivating, inspirational and a stepping stone.

Is it possible one day you will say my job is done.

~N

grumbling

Work is around the corner. I wonder if it is fair for me to grumble about summer vacation being over when I work in a place that allows me the summer months off. I will give that some thought while I am basking in the warmth of the sunshine on the back porch today.

I use to love my job. Use to be I disliked Fridays and horribly wishing for Monday to roll around quickly so I could get up and experience all the adventures my day was for certain going to bring. I was always right. Each day was filled with unexpected undertakings. Risks, I took them too. Most times, I enjoyed the outcome. I knew this is where I was meant to be. Things were set in place in my mind and my world was turning just as it should. I had a focus and a plan.

Things change. Life has a way of doing that to keep us awake or on our toes. I am a princess not a ballerina and don't like being on my toes. If I had been born with the proper foot wear for a ballerina toe stance, then I would not have much ground for complaint. That would be a bummer.

Last year I fell out of love with my job. I dread Mondays and by Wednesday I am already numb and finding less and less need to wake up but know that is the responsible thing to do.

Resigned.

OOOOOOOooooooooo I don't like feeling resigned unless it is to something good and my job was not. They let me know my job position changed from what I was doing last year. Are you thinking they heard my cries and made adjustments. Don't be silly. I am going to be even deeper into what I was doing last year. Since I don't like being resigned anymore and over the summer I met a friend who inspired me to no longer be resigned, I think perhaps change, and movement on my part to make that change is in order. But I am not talking a pirouette which would bring me back to ballet and even though I adore saying that French word or most anything French for that matter, I am opting out.

I know the change is the right thing for me, for my health, but I am going to so miss what was. The job I had was one that seemed so suited to my gift. I suppose if I were to have a conversation with the Lord right now and let Him know of the terrible injustice and hand Him my ideas of how to get back the job I had, He just might be ever so amused. I wonder how the sound of laughter is when it falls from heaven. I wonder if the Lord shakes His head saying Nancy, Nancy, Nancy or does He chuckle. Perhaps I won't bother Jesus with my ramblings and will move on and flow with the change.

Notes

I got a very nice note from a reader of the blog this morning. Isn't that an ever so lovely way to begin a day, with a word of kindness?

Thank you Susan for your note and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day from time to time.

~N

Going Through The Motions

As soon as I open the door in the mornings, Panther and Pretty Kitty, our cats, make their way to sit in front of the screen door.

Side by side, cute as can be. Both sit alert, waiting and watching, until a bird lands on the lawn. Here is the cute part...they crouch down and wiggle - I love it!

Not being familiar with cat body language, I think this dance they go through means the puddy tats wanna get to the tweetys.

Thing is - our cats are indoor cats.
Thing is - if they ever got to the tweety birds, they would not know what to do. Most likely as the birds would begin flight, so would Pretty and Panther - inside the house and hide under the couch which is their favorite hiding spot!

Bascially, they go through the motions without substantial action.

Hmmm

Some of us folks do the same thing...don't we....

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me
what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to
dream of meeting your heart's longing

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
If you have been opened by life's betrayals
Or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain

I want to know if you can sit with pain - mine or your own
Without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it
I want to know if you can be with joy - mine or your own
If you can dance with wildness
And let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
Without cautioning as to be careful, realistic
Or to remember the limitations of being human

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true
I want to know if you can dissapoint another to be true to yourself
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty, everyday
And if you can source your life from its presence
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine
And still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silvery moon, 'Yes!'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live
Or how much money you have
I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair
Weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
To feed the children

It doesn't interest me what you know or why you came here
I want to know if you will stand in the fire with me
And not shrink back

It doesn't interest me where, or what, or with whom, you studied
I want to know what sustains you, you from the inside
When all else falls away
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
And if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments

~~Mountaindreaming

Oh my, the things you do in the name of love!

Do they always involve the police?

Night Sounds

There are a lot of sounds out there and maybe even right beside you. It all depends on if you are listening, where you live and how you live.

You know I am in the country. In the mornings I have been in a new routine for the past month which leads me to a different room of the house. I have had new company this summer with honey bees in my pond which by the way, are still there though less in numbers. In the back of the house lives an owl. I don't know where exactly. I don't know which tree, if it is a male or female, what color it is or what type of owl it is. And I wonder, does it all matter or is it just that I enjoy knowing it is there.

I open the door for fresh air first thing in the mornings. Of course that is after I have turned on the coffee pot! I do have my priorities in order. I use to simply open the door then proceed to my next stop on my morning list but lately I linger there a bit longer. If you are like me, you grew up being told an owl hoots. Well, just as they say a horse goes 'nay', those sounds are not what I hear coming from a horse or an owl. I was surprised. At first when I heard my new backyard friend, I thought it was Dexter, our dog. I thought he was moaning in attempt to get my attention and give him a bone. (Yes, shhhhh - I spoil our dog, I prefer to say I love on him.) Then I realized it was an owl. I don't know why it likes my back yard. If there is one tree in particular that it likes or if it is the chipmunks that visit the feeding station right below those trees that is of interest.

Maybe this wise owl - they say owls are wise - has seen me in the window in the early mornings hours on the treadmill and thought I could use a friend. Maybe the owl is in need of a friend. You see, these are the things that capture my mind and take it on travels throughout the night and day.

The owl makes a sound that to me, is tranquil. Like he is at peace. And I thought, oh how lovely that would be. Don't be silly, I am not going to try to imitate the sound but I will keep searching for that tranquil feeling.

Have a very blessed day.

Interesting...

He said,
"Sorry, I lost my temper."

Her response,
"Are you sure it's lost?"

When I am with you...

I am the most free
I am safe in your arms

When I say I love you
Do you know how much I do

music

From the porch I could hear shouting from inside the house. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, there never is.

So I did all that I knew to do for my survival and put the head set in, leaned my on the back of the chair, embraced the warm sunshine on my body and became entertained by The Puppy Song by Harry Nilsson. Did you know that is the perfect song to drown out shouting? Did you know that it has just enough humor in it and uplifting words to bring sorrow up a notch?

Bummer is, there is a break between songs. The sounds of shouting returned but at a more mellow mode. hmmm

The next song was appropriate I thought. It was another song by Harry called Remember. I think what he says in the song is true,

love is only in a dream.

At least it feels like that. At least it is my experience.
But, I could be wrong. Wish you would prove me wrong.