grumbling

Work is around the corner. I wonder if it is fair for me to grumble about summer vacation being over when I work in a place that allows me the summer months off. I will give that some thought while I am basking in the warmth of the sunshine on the back porch today.

I use to love my job. Use to be I disliked Fridays and horribly wishing for Monday to roll around quickly so I could get up and experience all the adventures my day was for certain going to bring. I was always right. Each day was filled with unexpected undertakings. Risks, I took them too. Most times, I enjoyed the outcome. I knew this is where I was meant to be. Things were set in place in my mind and my world was turning just as it should. I had a focus and a plan.

Things change. Life has a way of doing that to keep us awake or on our toes. I am a princess not a ballerina and don't like being on my toes. If I had been born with the proper foot wear for a ballerina toe stance, then I would not have much ground for complaint. That would be a bummer.

Last year I fell out of love with my job. I dread Mondays and by Wednesday I am already numb and finding less and less need to wake up but know that is the responsible thing to do.

Resigned.

OOOOOOOooooooooo I don't like feeling resigned unless it is to something good and my job was not. They let me know my job position changed from what I was doing last year. Are you thinking they heard my cries and made adjustments. Don't be silly. I am going to be even deeper into what I was doing last year. Since I don't like being resigned anymore and over the summer I met a friend who inspired me to no longer be resigned, I think perhaps change, and movement on my part to make that change is in order. But I am not talking a pirouette which would bring me back to ballet and even though I adore saying that French word or most anything French for that matter, I am opting out.

I know the change is the right thing for me, for my health, but I am going to so miss what was. The job I had was one that seemed so suited to my gift. I suppose if I were to have a conversation with the Lord right now and let Him know of the terrible injustice and hand Him my ideas of how to get back the job I had, He just might be ever so amused. I wonder how the sound of laughter is when it falls from heaven. I wonder if the Lord shakes His head saying Nancy, Nancy, Nancy or does He chuckle. Perhaps I won't bother Jesus with my ramblings and will move on and flow with the change.