Mom

I struggle in making long stories short. Most times, I just don't tell them at all. You too? Good, then we are on the same page.

My mom - it's harder to write about her than it was about my dad. Mom is still living, thus our relationship is still in progress - whether I like it or not.

The relationship I have with my mother is strained - on my end - I can't speak for her - I can't figure her out from day to day.

Although, I am coming to understand her - I think.

A nephew told me recently, he was going to spend two days at grandmas house and did I have any suggestions. I offered up a quick escape plan and gave him the number for the witness protection program.

not funny, not even nice but that is the way it is

My mom manipulates. Growing up I was in awe of my mom at all she was able to accomplish. I was naive enough to follow her suggestions which I now know were commands. Not so good parts of my life are results of her manipulation that I wish I could have a redo on.

All water under the bridge..

Yet I've learned, most people do what they do for a deeper reason other than it may appear on the surface, or at first glance. I've learned my mom was not wanted as a child by her mom. My mom was raised by grandparents for years. She struggled with low self esteem and emotional abuse. What loving motherly model could she take from that to offer up in her years of motherhood?

Change or remain the same
Reject or accept

I can't change the past or my mom. I can change the way I feel about her. I can and have forgiven her and myself for the anger toward her that raged within me for years.

I chose to accept her for who she is and use creative ways to deal with time spent with her.

Like a roll of life savers, relationships come in many textures, colors and flavors.