Counting

I had to count - last Saturday was the third Saturday since my move. It has gone by quickly and yet it seems a life time ago.

Am I happy? Yes and no. Happy yes, because I finally made a right decision and made the move.

Happy no, because the move created some stressed I'd just a soon not have.

But what is life without a little stress? Stress can challenge us. That's the good in it. It can cause us to grow in how we learn to handle it. As for me, I will embrace the challenges.

Stress - money is tight. I visioned it not being so but my idea of how much money I would need was not reality, but I am dealing with it.

My sons are more needy and that is a bit stressful since I am not present to walk them through their latest issues.

Then there is the drive to work. I love the drive but at one point each morning I pass a certain person on the highway heading in the opposite direction. I find myself in anxious anticipation built with a bit of fear or nervousness if my driving or the way I am sitting in the car or the time of our passing will be acceptable to them. I wonder if they will think I am going too fast or too slow. I wonder if they will question why I am earlier or later than the day before.

It's crazy talk, I know that, however it doesn't change my thinking or my mood.

Why do I continue to allow people to control me? Is it a learned behavior I must unlearn? Are the answers in a book or is it a process each of us go through moment by moment as we make our way to a better mental health state?

I have come to the conclusion that the answer lies with God. Since you nor I are God as God is God, and He holds all the answer that we will never know or understand.

So, I turn to God for answers. I will walk more closely with Jesus and when in my day I find myself overwhelmed with sadness or negative emotions, I will ask my Adoni to hold me. I will ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep heavens view in sight and guide my walk.