The morning sounds are new now for me. I hear a train announcing its presence. Somehow it sounds lonely but in a hurry. I hear a rooster crowing the alarm, letting me and the neighbors know that morning has broken.
I hear a donkey braying. Maybe he wants his morning meal or maybe he is lonely too.
The morning views are new also. From my bedroom window I can see a broken down long, thick moss covered shed that needed to be torn down years ago. It has a country quality that is endearing to me and makes me feel comforted. Trees are all around but not close enough for my liking.
A low layer of morning mist forms a thick cloud layer just beneath the tree tops.
The morning drive to work is much longer than before but that's OK. I drive along the freeway and have time to view shops and areas I have never seen before. Some of the days the sky is painted bright pink. Some of the days like today, the fog is thick, the sky is dark but still, I love the drive. Mmmmm, I treasure the view.
As I write, I realize my new morning sights and sounds describe my life now - new, lonely, broken down, filled with brilliant color, new sights and experiences that I find myself delighting in.
Lonely - I miss seeing my children everyday. I miss doing mom things.
In a hurry - I find myself grasping at and embracing this new life but I am really in no hurry or want to rush it along. I want to savor each second, each event.
Broken down - kinda sorta describes my life at this moment in time.
I've met new people. A couple came over the other night. I wasn't feeling anxious at the idea of company or entertaining. I was relaxed. I laughed. I chatted. I was accepted.
Why haven't I felt that way in the past? I pondered that thought awhile after they left. Later, I gave voice to my emotions and got some great feedback. I think I understand why it was so easy for me to handle company. I was given the freedom to be myself. I could breath. I loved it!
My conclusion at the end of this first week of freedom and adventure is enlightening and gives me the knowledge that it is possible I just might make it to normalcy. Is that a word? If it is COOL. If it isn't, it is now...giggle
I find I am thankful.
I find myself recording more than a handful of blessings in my new life.
I find I smile more, I laugh more.
I'm finding my voice.
I'm finding I like discovering the lost me.
P.S. Sally, I am still not hooked up to the internet and have not been able to make it to the library to use the computer to send you a note...so...good morning, enjoy your day. Love, Nancy
I've met new people. A couple came over the other night. I wasn't feeling anxious at the idea of company or entertaining. I was relaxed. I laughed. I chatted. I was accepted.
Why haven't I felt that way in the past? I pondered that thought awhile after they left. Later, I gave voice to my emotions and got some great feedback. I think I understand why it was so easy for me to handle company. I was given the freedom to be myself. I could breath. I loved it!
My conclusion at the end of this first week of freedom and adventure is enlightening and gives me the knowledge that it is possible I just might make it to normalcy. Is that a word? If it is COOL. If it isn't, it is now...giggle
I find I am thankful.
I find myself recording more than a handful of blessings in my new life.
I find I smile more, I laugh more.
I'm finding my voice.
I'm finding I like discovering the lost me.
P.S. Sally, I am still not hooked up to the internet and have not been able to make it to the library to use the computer to send you a note...so...good morning, enjoy your day. Love, Nancy
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