Or is it that others are not on the same Earth or from the same Earth I am living on.
Why so? That is simple, or so it seems to me. What was so at this moment in time seems to change and no longer exist or at least I find new rules apply. There must be a booklet of amendments I am not aware of. When at this same time yesterday, playful chat was acceptable, rude comments, to me they were rude, replace the play. Hmmm
Are you confused? I hope so, that way you can share in the feeling of confusion that is stirring in me as I think on the moment and as I write.
I have been traveling lately down a road less formed, allowing me to mold the path, allowing me the freedom to blaze a trail before me that is barely worn. Even still, I find as I walk I slip, crawl, run at times and cry at times. I have come too far, although not that far, to turn around now or drop off the face of the Earth like a falling star.
Despite it all, I have love to cover my mistakes. I have a love for you to cover your mistakes too. Real friends do that for each other. Know that I want to love you well. Know that I want to love me well and not get lost in the midst of confusing and foggy moments or days.
Sometimes I find myself weary in the waiting and wonder when the sunrise will appear and wonder if someone will view the beauty of it with me.
After an attempt to not take ownership of the turbulant waters and was unsuccessful, I took medication to calm me then found the stress headache would not relieve itself so after a couple Ibuprofen, I was good to go. Those are bandaids, I know that. At the time, they were a need I had if I expected to move on through my morning. The following day I had a conversation with the person I mentioned above and expressed how I had felt.....kinda sorta....then allowed them time to express how they were feeling. That is the real medication I needed but the timing was not right. That is the process that needs to happen if a person wants to be mentally healthy. There are always quick fixes for stress, anxiety and any other negative emotions, my personal favorite is a thick, dark chocolate bar! giggle But the time comes when a gal has got to dig deep and find out the underlying source of the negativity that brought about the bandaid request...in my case, and maybe in yours too, why not wait until you have consumed AT LEAST HALF of the chocolate.
So what am I sitting here waiting for now...
...will you walk with me my friend as I take the next step?
Will you join me as I enter the first day of the rest of my life?
I think my life is going to be a Cinderella story.
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