Against A Wall

I feel like I am backed against a wall. I take that back, it feels more like in a corner with combined forces pushing and pulling me in attempts to control my life. I don't know what pleasure it brings them. If you do, please inform me, I really do want to understand. Then maybe, I can change my circumstances.

Difficult times. I analyze and re-analyze again. I am in the depths of sadness and despair.Now I am having to attend an event-

The good side - I went. I took care of some of my needs. I took risks and celebrated new adventures. An old friendship is now in the spectacular category, and I met tons of new people and made new friends to network with.

My pay is affected in a positive way due to the educational weekend. I got to see parts of Yakima I have not seen before.

Not so good side - I learned a lot more about my new job position that I am not being given the chance to contribute input on. I learned that it still is a fact that people who pretend to befriend you have an agenda, often times, behind it all, and will reveal it at the most inopportune times. I found out how much emotional pressure I am capable of taking and found a good friend who has a gift for helping me through those times.

~

Sunday was not so great. I had a place to go that I did not want to go to but that is only half the facts. Truth is, I wanted to go but more than half of me knew that there is always a price to pay when I return from trips and thus, the reason this is the first trip - short or long - I have taken anywhere in years.

By the time Monday came, despair was at its darkest. Then, Jesus intervened. I love it when He does that!

I sat in a classroom waiting, chatting with the instructor. A lady, two tables up from me, turned to watch me as my conversation with the speaker continued. I saw a tear in her eye. I asked the lady a question to prompt conversation.

The healing flood gates began to open for both of us

I asked her if I could come sit beside her. We had much in common. Then I sat intently listening to her burdens, her grief and worries.

I know, I can hear you from here. I should have known....when you find you can't cope or feel burdened, help someone in the same position and reach out to them. If you do, I hope you will find, as I did, that your burdens and cares melt away. ....if only I had not waited so long :)