In kindness, without naming names, I felt led to share a bit this morning about a current relationship of mine. Perhaps for the purpose of helping someone who might read this and identify. Perhaps for the peace that often comes to me when I release words on a page. The peace I oftentimes need to make it through one more day.
Lately the emotional strain has been more than I can cope with...most days. It took a couple of years to trust again, but I finally found one friend I know I can confide in and know they will keep confidential information just that - confidential. I suppose it helps that they live much further north!
hmmmm I learned the hard way that you can't always count on those who say they are your friend, to keep confidential information to themselves. Perhaps they thought they were acting on my behalf but it was sad, hurtful and in end, things went back to being worse than they were to begin with. As I have said before, some people are divers. Oh how I wish they would learn to wade in.
It affects my life in a huge way. Someday I will be free of the stress and strain.
One thing I must say. I know we are all human, we all make mistakes. We won't all see things eye to eye but why aren't they willing to compromise...it is all so confusing to me.
In their defense, I wonder what lays at the root of their behavior. I have not walked a full mile in their shoes because I can't get close enough to know what road it is they walk. I am willing to carry their burden but again, I can't seem to break through the wall to even know what it is that burden
s them. I have come to a conclusion that if need be, I must remove myself from this relationship, but will do it with grace and kindness - to them and to myself.
But how I wonder... will I know when I have endured long enough. I wonder if I will always feel this lonely. How will I know when enough is enough.
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